Distractions
by Gwyn Gwanylada
Summary: Leah sees the stuff of her nightmares. Somehow, Jacob sees her pain, and with that, her greatest sin occurs.


**Title:** Distractions

**Author:** Quileute_Girl

**Rating:** R

**Warnings:** Language, sexual content

**Pairings:** Blackwater, aka Jacob and Leah

**Genre:** Angst, romance

**Type: **One-shot

****A/N: There is a Fall Out Boy reference in it. I'll give you the lyric, you give me the song and make me super happy! *geeks out***

**Lyric: _"Trade baby blues/for wide-eyed browns/I sleep in your old shirt and walk through this house/in your shoes/I know it's strange/It's a strange way of saying that I know I'm supposed to love you/I'm supposed to love you."_**

**And another warning: THIS IS SMUT. DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT. It gets kinda graphic. But whatever. I warned you. Let me know about my errors, I was in a hurry to write this and I know there's a ton of them.**

**Also, how OOC are they all? Let me know. Thanks.**

**Read away! Reviews are love.**

Even with all the pain she'd been through, the pain she lived, the pain she breathed, seeing what she saw was infinitely worse.

Every image stained her memories, like watching an old movie play over and over again. She tried to breath, tried so hard. Everything about her had been hard, knowing their relationship, and she was a bitch, but the hardness was a façade that she hid behind. Yes, it showed her pain, but this, this was real, this was further proof to everything.

It was two days ago, Leah reminded herself, two freaking days ago. Yet, as she walked around the house, draped in his scent, with his old shirt and worn shoes, it seemed like five minutes ago. She forced herself to breathe.

_Breathe. Just… breathe._

It wasn't working. Leah wasn't going to let the tears fall. Like hell she would. This was Sam's fault, stupid Sam for leaving her, stupid Emily for going along with it. And now their big mature love had just gotten more mature.

_Jesus, why couldn't they have been more discreet?_

Everything in her life wasn't even a mess. It was a disaster. She could say the relationships were in a flux, but that would mean actually _having_ a relationship. She'd cut off most ties to the pack. Seth was barely tolerable, the poor kid. He had to look for Jacob for guidance now.

Jacob.

Once, long ago, they were friends. He understood her pain. But now, she was here, drowning in her own misery and anger, and there was no lifeguard to be seen.

Even so, that relationship had been screwed. She'd pushed him away when he tried to get close, still hurt by Sam.

But now, the image burned in her brain, Leah needed a distraction. She was tired of walking an angry line between sleep and death.

The doorbell rang as Leah seized the coffee pot and smashed it on the floor. Shards of glass flew everywhere. She didn't bother to clean them up. Instead, she headed for the door.

"What the hell do you want?"

It was Jacob. The harshness was in her voice, but she felt a strange feeling, seeing him. For once, he was in clothes, which stung her. She felt nostalgia and desperation. She'd seen Sam and Emily do the thing that composed parts of her worse nightmares.

Jacob eyed her thoughtfully. "Chill, Leah. I wanted to see where Seth was. It's time for patrol duty."

"He's not here," Leah snarled. "Probably out living life. Something I can't even bring myself to do."

She shut her eyes. Leah hadn't meant to say that last part out loud. She heard Jacob draw in breath sharply.

Opening her eyes, she saw all traces of sarcasm and his own armor vanish from Jacob's face. "Leah. I know. But somehow, we've got to keep going on even when we think we can."

"Wise words from you, Obi-Wan Kenobi. But I think my memories contradict you."

Jacob frowns and reaches a hand out for me. Leah backed away, though some strange part of her yearns for his touch. "Whatever happened, happened," he says simply.

"Wrong." Leah turned her back away from him. "I saw Sam and Emily- together. Doing… things. Things for the honeymoon."

Leah didn't see Jacob's face, but she heard his voice. And what she heard makes her shudder in a different way. "I'm sorry." It's full of empathy and pity, but Leah doesn't need that.

An epiphany occurred to her, just then. All of this was her life. She needed a distraction. And what better person to take her anger out than Jacob? He was stronger than anyone else she'd known. And somehow, they both thought that their firsts were people who had deserted them.

Leah turned back around and yanked Jacob in the door. His eyes were questioning. "What, what are you doing, Leah?"

Leah growled. "Shut up, Jacob. I need a distraction. Don't you see? Everything I fucking hate has been thrown in my face. And I want out. Don't you? Bella could have been your first. She's not. Don't you want to throw it in her face?"

Jacob's eyes hardened. "Leah. Don't you bring that up."

"We won't have to, if we distract ourselves." Leah pulled Jacob's face to hers recklessly. Her lips molded with Jacob, and his hands inexplicably came up to her face, brushing the hair behind her ears. He was gentle. She didn't want that.

"Rough, Jacob. I'm strong. You know that."

She shoved Jacob closer and increased the tempo of the dance they were dancing. They were spinning across eggshells, trying to get over their pain. This was the only kind of distraction Leah could imagine. She wondered if Jacob felt the same.

Her lips crashed against Jacob's again, and again. When her tongue passed through his opened lips, Jacob growled, and spun them around, pushing Leah against the wall. Leah responded, and Jacob did too. They were finally dancing the way they wanted too, fitting both of their styles.

Leah pushed against Jacob, letting her hands fly through Jacob's hair, soft and long, the only rebellious part of the pack that he had.

His lips went to her ear, his breath hot. Very hot. He bit down. Leah wriggled beneath him. The dance heated up.

She yanked off his shirt. With nothing but skin beneath her fingers, she now knew why seeing him with clothes bothered her. Both hands trailing his hard stomach, she let her face move to his neck, breathing him in.

She let her tongue dart out to his neck. Leah knew what she wanted to do. He was hers. This was proof. For all that Sam had done to destroy her, Jacob and Leah would destroy the pack, just by being together in this moment. They were unstoppable.

She bit down, sucking long enough to leave the mark. "You're mine," she growled.

Jacob sighed, wriggling her out of her shirt. "This seals it."

Leah undid her bra, wanting Jacob to drink her in. His eyes widened.

"You're beautiful."

The remark startled her, almost made her stop her kissing of his neck. But she went on, more savage then ever. Sam had said that to her, so many times. So, so many times.

Her nails scrabbled at him. He resumed kissing her, breathing heavy. She'd explored so many parts of him, but not enough. Her hands didn't stray down, they glided with a purpose. Slowly, she drew her head back from Jacob's and brought his pants again.

It was the only gentle thing she would do for him in this experiment.

Eyes wide, Jacob nodded. "Please, do it. I'll hurt you, do whatever you want. I need this, too."

Leah plunged her hand to his length, pumping it evenly. Jacob's eyes rolled back in his head. By now, they had fallen to the floor. She continued stroking, until a truly evil grin spread across her face.

Sweeping her mouth against his shaft, she began to suck with enthusiasm. Jacob was filling her mouth now, crying out. He arched into her.

Leah lifted her head. She had serviced him. "Me," she instructed, and without further ado, Jacob knew what she meant.

He cupped her breasts in his hands, squeezing, and the pulse made her feel pleasured. But even the twisting of her nipples made her want more.

"More," she breathed, breath a whisper.

He obliged and took a big finger and stuck it within her. Distantly, she was aware of her squirting all over her. She arched into him, pulsing once more.

This was great.

"Let's finish this bastard," she thought to herself and withdrew herself from Jacob's touch. Her legs spread wide, she beckoned him in. Jacob looked fearful and ecstatic at the same time.

In the back of her mind, she knew this was fast, no condom, no worries. But maybe this was always supposed to be how it was.

He plunged in. Leah screamed. It hurt, she knew that, from the blood spreading over both of their legs, but she knew it would feel good later.

He plunged in, again and again. She was good at the rhythm. Arching into him by now was natural.

Bucking again and again, they were both moaning.

She was near to falling out when Jacob delivered the final pounding, reaching her core. They both yelled, stars in their eyes, as he came too, white stuff adding to the red.

Dizzy, Leah shut her legs with Jacob still in her. "Thank you," said Leah, panting, "For whatever the cost, thank you."

Jacob nodded, arms around her. "We're tied to each other now," he mused. "No matter what." He grinned ruefully as a thought struck her. "The pack's not going to be happy."

"Screw the pack," said Leah emphatically, and Jacob smiled. Together, they lay there, still inside each other.

It wasn't until Jacob finally withdrew wistfully that she got back into her clothes. She shed them as she stepped into the shower, after Jacob made his excuses and left.

The water hit her head, unsoothing. The pain finally made the tears fall. Leah, naked and stripped, vulnerable, let the tears fall in the shower, salty tears mixing in with what was supposed to cleanse her.

This was her distraction, but what she had done was also her sin.

**How was it? Let me know. I know it's confusing, so if anyone wants to beta, let me know. It's a mess, and I left loopholes on purpose. I'm toying with the idea of expanding this after I finish "Don't Let Me Get Me".**


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